Second time around you have the confidence and experience to know what you’re doing (hopefully!).  You know how to breastfeed, what it should feel like. and where to get help with problems.  You’re also already primed for the sleepless nights.  But there are new challenges:  How do you breastfeed with a toddler demanding your attention, climbing all over you, asking for snacks, or strangely needing the potty every time you sit down to feed?

Boobdudes is here to help with 10 Top Tips for happy toddlers during breastfeeding:

1. BE PREPARED.  Before you start to feed get everything you think you might need to hand. Keep the door or stair gate closed so no one wonders away out of sight.
2. HAVE A SNACK READY.  You can guarantee that as soon as you start to feed a little person will decide they are thirsty or hungry so grab a drink and snack for them before you start to feed.  Grapes or raisins are great because they take time for little fingers to eat.  If its near lunchtime try settling them down with their lunch next to you whilst you feed.
3. STORYTIME.   Keep a few favourite books ready to read together at feed time.  Toddlers love snuggling in next to mum so its an ideal time to look at a book.  Ask them to hold the book or help turn the pages.   Or keep a favourite episode of Peppa Pig or or The Night Garden in the DVD player ready to switch on.  If they only get to watch it at feed times it becomes a treat.
4. SPECIAL TOYS.  Keep a small basket of different toys or puzzles that you can get out at feed time.  You could even let your big one choose a special toy or teddy themselves that they get to play with whilst you are feeding.   Little girls love to sit with mum and breastfeed their dolls.
5. PRAISE AND ATTENTION: When baby is asleep or content to be put down lavish attention on your toddler.  If they are getting quality mum time between feeds they may be happier to play independently whilst you are feeding.  Praise them for playing nicely whilst you are feeding and talk to them about what they are doing as you feed baby.
6. A SPECIAL JOB.  Making your big girl or boy feel a part of caring for the baby really helps.  Involve them in baby’s care by giving them little jobs such as getting a clean nappy from the bag, or choosing baby’s clothes for the day.  Praise them for being kind to baby, and tell them how much baby loves to watch them play.
7. ACCEPT HELP.  It’s hard to accept help sometimes, we have this built in guilt mechanism that says if we ask for help we aren’t coping, or we should be able to cope with baby because we’ve done it all before.  But looking after 2 little ones is hard work and if you have visitors make the most of them being there. If they ask if you need anything doing don’t hide the mountain of washing up, get them to do it!  It will give you more time, and energy, for both your little ones. In the early days when people come to meet the new baby ask them to play with your toddler first.   Then they can have a cuddle with baby later on.  If they bring presents let your toddler open them and make sure they get a few treats too.
8. GO OUT.  It may sound ridiculous when you’re totally exhausted, and it can be a major operation getting 2 little ones out the door some days, but going out makes a big difference.  Go to toddlers, storytime, an any other groups you can find.  There are always plenty of mums eager to cuddle baby whilst you play with your toddler, and willing hands to care for them whilst you feed baby.  Plus it tires them both out so hopefully they will sleep and let you get some rest later in the day!
9. TALK.  Even very young children can understand a baby’s need for food.  Explain to your child simply what baby is doing and why, let them see how the baby feeds.  If you breastfeed them tell them about what they did when they were a baby and how you enjoyed feeding them.  For slightly older children you can explain how good mummy milk is for babies, that it keeps them healthy and helps them grow.
10. ENJOY.  Time flies so fast so enjoy the special relationship you have with your little ones.  Before you know it the sleepless nights will have ended and you’ll be waving your little ones off to school.  Having 2 little ones is exhausting and probably the hardest stage but the rewards of a close age gap will be reaped as they learn to play together and become friends.  It’s amazing seeing how siblings grow and develop together.

A mum’s view.

“I have breastfed both of my children past my one year goal, although surprisingly I found it an easier experience with my first child. With hindsight I think this was because it was an entirely different experience. With my firsts child I had all day to sit and feed and devote all my waking moments to her every need. It was such a wonderful experience, one which I was eager to repeat. However when number two came along, a completely different personality, I was at first disappointed that the experience wasn’t exactly the same. On the whole she was a constant snacker, 5 minutes on and 5 minutes off, I really felt that all I did was feed. I’m not sure whether this was just her style or whether she had developed this style due to the fact that I no longer had hours to sit on the settee and feed to my hearts content. I spent the first few months consumed with guilt, my first child was no longer getting the attention that she had previously had and my second child was not getting the attention my first had had when she was a baby. However my second was thriving, although slightly smaller than my first and not putting on weight quite as rapidly as her sibling, she was however a very happy child who actually sat up quicker and crawled quicker than her sister. After a few months the guilt eased and we found our own way of coping with the demands of two children. While I fed,my elder child would breastfeed her dolly and cuddle up with me and I found rather than trying to please them both separately I could please them together. I also found that I could breastfeed everywhere doing anything, there were many times that I breastfed holding my baby with one hand and making crispy cakes with the other. Painting was also fun, and I found if I covered my baby up with a towel the she didn’t get splattered in paint by an over exuberant 2 year old. I look back on the whole experience and really cherish each different experience, it taught me a lot as a mother and also gave me lots of laughs and stories to tell my children when they grow up.”

by Vicky, mum to sisters now 2 and 4.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8340328.stm

What do you think?  Are these ads misleading?  Do you think they encourage women to bottle feed?  Do they suggest to you that folow on milks are better than breast after 6 months?

Have your say in the comments box

29th September 2009 from 9.30-11.30am.

It is at Cadishead Children’s Centre, Allotment Road, Cadishead, M44 5AW

All mums, babies, and mums to be welcome.

Free Food and Free Raffle.

They are in Cadishead, Lower Broughton and the Height – details can be found to the right

Unfortunately we experienced some problems and I didn’t ask for help soon enough and ended up with very sore cracked and bleeding nipples. I would dread the next feed with the night feeds being the worst as we seemed to struggle to get comfy but we kept going, just one more feed, one more day. I knew I daren’t set myself a target because I would beat myself up about if I never reached it. Well eventually I was told about a group at Larkhill  Children’s Centre so I went along and met other mums and the wonder that is Bev. Since that first day I knew there would always be someone to turn to no matter what my problem was. We got over the cracked nipples and continued.

The weeks and months passed by and the odd blocked duct pooped up which I recieved advice from Bev about. Before I knew it my baby was 1, I was feeding a toddler. She had stopped all of her regular daytime feeds by this point with just a couple of morning feeds and a bedtime feed left apart from if she was feeling unwell when my milk was the only thing she would have. Before this point she was more than happy to go to bed without me being there to feed her the odd night so I was able to have nights away from her without any problems and my milk supply magically adapted once again as it had when I had returned to work part time when she was 9months old. So on we plodded. It was rare I fed her away from home due to the timings of her regular feeds but if the need arose then I fed her whenever we were, rather that than a screaming toddler anyday! I have been lucky in that I have never really received any negative comments about breastfeeding “an older baby”. Apart from my GP being shocked I was feeding a 9month old!

It was never my intention to be feeding an almost 2 year old but I have just followed my daughter’s lead. I am happy to feed her and she makes it very clear that she still wants my milk. Yes sometimes i say “no sweetheart let mummy finish the shopping” or “no just a minute” but I am not going to deny my daughter something that she feels she still needs and I know she still benefits from. I haven’t said i’ll stop when she’s 2 or i’ll stop when she’s 3. I guess I am just going to carry on following her lead and see where it takes us.”

by Grace, mum of Tabitha

I have always been ‘broody’, at 15 I can remember telling a shocked careers adviser I wanted to be a housewife when I was older.  So when I found out it could be difficult to conceive because I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome I was devastated and scared it may never happen. We saw a fertility specialist who was fantastic and to our surprise, we got pregnant on our first course of Clomid.

I had lots of time dreaming about being a mum so I had defiantly considered how I was going to feed my baby before I conceived. Breast was always the choice I was going to make. My husband was a little unsure about me wanting to breastfeed. His other daughter had been bottle feed from the very start, so he just thought, that we would bottle feed. Thankfully after he read some leaflets and spoke to our midwife he was in definite agreement that breast was well and truly best.

When Niamh was born we had lots of skin to skin contact and she latched on herself and fed for over an hour. It was amazing. The first few days were hard as Niamh fed all day and night. I was exhausted but had lots of help from my family.

My milk came in around day 5 but by then poor attachment had really damaged my nipples so I got some specialist help. I had a monster crack on my nipple, it was excruciating and we both developed thrush. Niamh was treated with nystatin and me with fluconazole. Attachment improved with lots of practice  and the thrush cleared.

All the problems seem a distant memory now. This spring I completed my breastfeeding peer support training and have already been supporting other mothers to breastfeed their babies. The mothers cannot thank me enough but they really don’t need to because I am honoured to help them with the amazing thing they are doing for their children.

Breastfeeding is the best thing I have ever done, Niamh is my greatest achievement.

Preventing Mastitis.

• Try not to go a long time between feeds.   If you do miss a feed, or get too full express so you’re comfortable.
• Get a well fitted nursing bra
• Ensure you have a good latch and baby is positioned well (ask your HV, midwife or Peer Supporter for help if you are not sure)

Symptoms.

• a red area on the breast
• painful, achy or hot breast
• flu like symptoms – aching, headache, shivering , high temperature, etc.
• suddenly feeling very tired or tearful

Helping Yourself.

• KEEP BREASTFEEDING. You will feel really ill and fed up but feeding as often as possible will help you recover quicker.  If you’ve got help at hand, get someone else to look after baby whilst you sleep and bring them to you for feeds.
• Try feeding baby in a different position to drain different areas of the breast.
• Use warm flannels or have a warm bath to sooth the breast and help the milk flow.
• Massage the red area gently towards the nipple with your hand or a wide toothed comb.
• Get as much rest as you can.

Medical Help.

If your symptoms persist and self help isn’t bringing relief you may need antibiotics from your gp.  The World Health organisation recommends Flucloxacillin 500mg 4 times a day, or erthromycin 500mg 4 times a day, or cefalexin 500mg 4 times a day.   But do speak to your GP who will know the best treatment for you.  Always take the full course of antibiotics even if you feel better. If after taking antibiotics you develop sore nipples you may have thrush so get back to the GP!  If your mastitis reoccurs despite antibiotics or is unusually severe ask your gp to test a milk sample for bacteria, this will enable them to choose the most effective medication.

A Mum’s Experience

“I had mild mastitis a couple of times when my second son was a tiny baby but when he was around 14 or 15 months I developed severe mastitis and ended up on antibiotics. It started as a terrible pain under my arm and in my right breast but as there was no lump the doctor wasn’t sure what it was and came up with a couple of suggestions and gave me strong painkillers. The tablets didn’t take the edge off the pain and the following day I was in such agony my friend Emma rushed me to casualty. Ironically it was on the way that I realised a huge red hot lump had developed but by this time I had a high fever and was shaking – I had never felt so ill! The doctor immediately diagnosed mastitis and gave me antibiotics which I took for a week – the infection was so bad it had spread! I think the reason I got so poorly was due to the fact the lump developed after the pain therefore I didn’t show classic symptoms and so was diagnosed 24 hours later meaning the infection had taken hold and given me bad flu symptoms.”  Kate

Useful Links.

http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Mastitis/Pages/Introduction.aspx?url=Pages/What+is+it.aspx

http://www.llli.org/FAQ/mastitis.html

Coming soon – the mums stories page.  If you want to share your breastfeeding story  -why you chose to breastfeed, the problems you had and overcame, or anything else about breastfeeding then email your story to:

info@boobdudes.info

I’d love to read your stories and I’m sure everyone else would love to as well.  Boobdudes is all about mums supporting mums so share your story and you might just help someone else.

If you’re struggling to get baby to take a bottle try out some of the Boobdudes top tips:

• Get dad or a friend to give the bottle whilst mum hides in another room.  If baby can hear, see or smell mum they will resist the bottle.
• Run warm water over the teat so its not so cold.  If using refridgerated milk warm it to room temperature under running water.  (Always check that its not too hot and there are no hot spots by swilling the milk in the bottle as you warm it.)
• Try different teats/bottles.  There are several on the market that are shaped more like the breast which babies can prefer. Dont go mad and buy every one out there though – bottles can be really expensive so try a couple and if no luck keep perservering with the ones you have!
• Offer the bottle before baby gets really hungry. Or offer it part way through a breastfeed.
• Move about – rocking, swaying or walking will calm baby and distract them from how they are been fed.
• Try different positions.  Some babies like to feed in a similar position to breastfeeding, others prefer to be sat more upright or facing away.
• If baby gets really distressed put the bottle away and try again another time.
• If you are planning to give formula, get your baby used to expressed breastmilk first then switch to formula once they are happy taking  a bottle: Same taste, different method is far easier than different taste and different method of feeding all at once.
• Don’t panic – it can sometimes take weeks to get baby to take a bottle but most get there in the end.  If the big day of returning to work or going out arrives and baby still hasn’t taken the bottle don’t worry; babies never let themselves go hungry and childcarers have lots of  tricks and experience to get milk into babies.  If you’re in no rush to get baby onto a bottle then leave it for a week or two then try again.

If  all else fails and baby refuses the bottle there are alternatives:

For younger babies you can spoon feed, use a medicine syringe, or cup feed (allowing baby to lap from the lid of a bottle often works really well). Ask your Health Visitor or Breastfeeding Peer Supporter for advice on the safest ways to use these methods)

For older babies, over 4 months you can go straight to a free flowing feeder cup.  Use with or without the lid and allow baby to feed themself.  Very messy but lots of babies prefer it to the bottle.

Remember you don’t have to introduce a bottle at all if you dont want to.  Often mums are told that they need to introduce bottles early otherwise baby will never take one but don’t worry – you can teach your baby to drink from a bottle or cup later on if you need to,  babies that do take a bottle at a young age often refuse it later on anyway, and with all the hassle of expressing and sterilising it’s often easier for mums to just feed baby themselves.