Boobdudes.info | Breastfeeding Support

Finding out your pregnant with baby number 2 is an exciting time.  But it can also be a nervous wait with lots of questions: How will I cope with 2 little ones? Will I love them the same? Will big bro or sis be jealous of the baby?   For parents with a small age gap one of the big issues in the early months is working out how you will juggle feeding the new baby with a toddler to look after.

Second time around you have the confidence and experience to know what you’re doing (hopefully!).  You know how to breastfeed, what it should feel like. and where to get help with problems.  You’re also already primed for the sleepless nights.  But there are new challenges:  How do you breastfeed with a toddler demanding your attention, climbing all over you, asking for snacks, or strangely needing the potty every time you sit down to feed?

Boobdudes is here to help with 10 Top Tips for happy toddlers during breastfeeding:

1. BE PREPARED.  Before you start to feed get everything you think you might need to hand. Keep the door or stair gate closed so no one wonders away out of sight.
2. HAVE A SNACK READY.  You can guarantee that as soon as you start to feed a little person will decide they are thirsty or hungry so grab a drink and snack for them before you start to feed.  Grapes or raisins are great because they take time for little fingers to eat.  If its near lunchtime try settling them down with their lunch next to you whilst you feed.
3. STORYTIME.   Keep a few favourite books ready to read together at feed time.  Toddlers love snuggling in next to mum so its an ideal time to look at a book.  Ask them to hold the book or help turn the pages.   Or keep a favourite episode of Peppa Pig or or The Night Garden in the DVD player ready to switch on.  If they only get to watch it at feed times it becomes a treat.
4. SPECIAL TOYS.  Keep a small basket of different toys or puzzles that you can get out at feed time.  You could even let your big one choose a special toy or teddy themselves that they get to play with whilst you are feeding.   Little girls love to sit with mum and breastfeed their dolls.
5. PRAISE AND ATTENTION: When baby is asleep or content to be put down lavish attention on your toddler.  If they are getting quality mum time between feeds they may be happier to play independently whilst you are feeding.  Praise them for playing nicely whilst you are feeding and talk to them about what they are doing as you feed baby.
6. A SPECIAL JOB.  Making your big girl or boy feel a part of caring for the baby really helps.  Involve them in baby’s care by giving them little jobs such as getting a clean nappy from the bag, or choosing baby’s clothes for the day.  Praise them for being kind to baby, and tell them how much baby loves to watch them play.
7. ACCEPT HELP.  It’s hard to accept help sometimes, we have this built in guilt mechanism that says if we ask for help we aren’t coping, or we should be able to cope with baby because we’ve done it all before.  But looking after 2 little ones is hard work and if you have visitors make the most of them being there. If they ask if you need anything doing don’t hide the mountain of washing up, get them to do it!  It will give you more time, and energy, for both your little ones. In the early days when people come to meet the new baby ask them to play with your toddler first.   Then they can have a cuddle with baby later on.  If they bring presents let your toddler open them and make sure they get a few treats too.
8. GO OUT.  It may sound ridiculous when you’re totally exhausted, and it can be a major operation getting 2 little ones out the door some days, but going out makes a big difference.  Go to toddlers, storytime, an any other groups you can find.  There are always plenty of mums eager to cuddle baby whilst you play with your toddler, and willing hands to care for them whilst you feed baby.  Plus it tires them both out so hopefully they will sleep and let you get some rest later in the day!
9. TALK.  Even very young children can understand a baby’s need for food.  Explain to your child simply what baby is doing and why, let them see how the baby feeds.  If you breastfeed them tell them about what they did when they were a baby and how you enjoyed feeding them.  For slightly older children you can explain how good mummy milk is for babies, that it keeps them healthy and helps them grow.
10. ENJOY.  Time flies so fast so enjoy the special relationship you have with your little ones.  Before you know it the sleepless nights will have ended and you’ll be waving your little ones off to school.  Having 2 little ones is exhausting and probably the hardest stage but the rewards of a close age gap will be reaped as they learn to play together and become friends.  It’s amazing seeing how siblings grow and develop together.

A mum’s view.

“I have breastfed both of my children past my one year goal, although surprisingly I found it an easier experience with my first child. With hindsight I think this was because it was an entirely different experience. With my firsts child I had all day to sit and feed and devote all my waking moments to her every need. It was such a wonderful experience, one which I was eager to repeat. However when number two came along, a completely different personality, I was at first disappointed that the experience wasn’t exactly the same. On the whole she was a constant snacker, 5 minutes on and 5 minutes off, I really felt that all I did was feed. I’m not sure whether this was just her style or whether she had developed this style due to the fact that I no longer had hours to sit on the settee and feed to my hearts content. I spent the first few months consumed with guilt, my first child was no longer getting the attention that she had previously had and my second child was not getting the attention my first had had when she was a baby. However my second was thriving, although slightly smaller than my first and not putting on weight quite as rapidly as her sibling, she was however a very happy child who actually sat up quicker and crawled quicker than her sister. After a few months the guilt eased and we found our own way of coping with the demands of two children. While I fed,my elder child would breastfeed her dolly and cuddle up with me and I found rather than trying to please them both separately I could please them together. I also found that I could breastfeed everywhere doing anything, there were many times that I breastfed holding my baby with one hand and making crispy cakes with the other. Painting was also fun, and I found if I covered my baby up with a towel the she didn’t get splattered in paint by an over exuberant 2 year old. I look back on the whole experience and really cherish each different experience, it taught me a lot as a mother and also gave me lots of laughs and stories to tell my children when they grow up.”

by Vicky, mum to sisters now 2 and 4.